SEPTEMBER 29 BALLARD’S RESORT FISHING REPORT

SEPTEMBER WALLEYE FISHING. LAKE OF THE WOODS.
SEPTEMBER WALLEYE FISHING. LAKE OF THE WOODS.

SEPTEMBER 29-

Hey Sportsfans!
 
Is it really the end of September? It sure doesn’t feel like it when you step outside. 
 
With the temperatures creeping into the 80s this past week, our fall fishing groups (who typically pack mittens for their trip) were walking around in shorts and t-shirts. 
 
Camp was full this week with old friends who venture up to see us each year… thank you. We are looking forward to next year already. We also had a crew of 30 gals, they were a hoot, and they out fished everyone! 🙂
 
Fall walleye fishing has been good to us on Lake of the Woods. For the most part, the guides continue to fish on the south shore (24-28′). Our close to home honey hole is producing many fish, though most are small keepers. 
 
In an attempt to find larger fish, the guided have trekked back north. Fishing both shallow rocks (8-10′) and deep (anchored off the ledges of deep rocks) they have done well. 
 
Looking at the weather forecast, our summer-like fall is fleeting. As temperatures start to chill off, the thought of what to come starts creeping into our minds… ICE FISHING ON LAKE OF THE WOODS!
 
That’s all for this week. #SETTHEHOOK
 

SEASON 2, EPISODE 8

SEPTEMBER WALLEYE FISHING. LAKE OF THE WOODS. BALLARD'S RESORT.
SEPTEMBER WALLEYE FISHING. LAKE OF THE WOODS. BALLARD'S RESORT.

Season TWO – Episode 8 – “They could sense it coming.” 

Rusty could have sworn his pack horse SUGAR winked twice at him before throwing a foot up into the stirrup. The hunting party had officially formed just outside the newly noted “Flying Arrow Barn” at the Gold Rope Ranch.

Present and accounted for… Today’s members included: Jackie Loonsuckle (lead guide – all around professional outdoorsman – spoon in hand son of Geoff), Sally Squatnfishes (consummate glamour girl – still perturbed – but no longer in the I’m going to kill Rusty Flathers mindset), Rusty Flathers (aspiring to be anything successful – still wet in the crotchal region – happy to no longer be on Sally’s target list – outdoor enthusiast), Ron Heimberg (high finance ranch partner – low level wilderness survival skills), and Geoff Loonsuckle (transportation mogul ranch partner – also low level wilderness survival skills).

From the corral they moved north, including the film crew in tow. It would be an hour and fifteen minutes to the base of the mountain. The tape was rolling and Helly Hansen was footing the bill for this adventure. With the entire party clomping along, it was the horses, they could sense it coming.

Rusty had ridden a few Mustangs in his life. Mostly during visits to Aunt Mari Delle’s where his father would frequently drop him with little notice. This was par for the course when far away fishing adventures would beckon Doobie into parts unknown. Make a buck… Take a fishing trip… Seemed to be the general theme for this single parent of one.

Anyway, Aunt Mari Delle’s place was wonderful. He had access to hundreds of acres of open agricultural riding. Plus, there was unlimited access to the knowledge of stable hands who were professed in riding, cussing and snoose chewing.

Rusty felt lucky until he saw SUGAR wink. Traditionally Mustangs have a mild temperament and are extremely sure footed on the trickiest of terrains. Halfway to the hills this horse had already made TWO attempts to throw him and slipped more than once on the flattest of shale. SUGAR was no sweetheart!

At approximately 3-miles from the base of the mountain the terrain began to slowly roll with easy ups and jagged downs. Even though you peaked a knoll… You were still gaining altitude.

Jackie Loonsuckle had been correct in his assumption. A week prior the herd had been spotted at 8000 feet. Now, the impending weather had brought a massive swelling of bison down the not super steep mountain, and they could be glassed with binoculars (Kowa’s Highlander 32x82mm) from a high vantage point as they freely roamed the grassy foothills. Their range was currently 3200-yards as the slightest snow began to fall.

With direction from their lead guide… Both Sally and Rusty dismounted to position a tripod for closer inspection. The film crew was held in the rear by Ron and Geoff. This was crunching time, and no excessive amount of movement or noise was allowed.

Rusty viewed the innumerous bulls, cows, and calves as Sally perched nearby (why does she ALWAYS smell so darn good) in anticipation of further instruction. Any official game plan for success could potentially be altered on the fly.

Everyone wanted a glimpse of the GIANT bull… Early reports put this bison at 2000+ pounds if it weighed an ounce. Currently, it was nowhere to be seen.

“Let’s keep moving forward,” Jackie called out to the party. “This next knoll up ahead, RUSTY, I want you and Geoff to circle around it from the east. I’ll take Sally and Ron with me to the west, and we’ll split the balance of the film team between us. Meet back in the middle after we circle around this ridge.”

As instructed the group parted ways. There was a crosswind circling around the ridge that put Rusty and his half of the ongoing downwind. Good odds when you’re looking for a bison that could be hiding in small patches of habitat while resting between stints of food or water. The spitting snow had now turned to quarter sized flakes, hitting the searchers head on as they straightened their path and moved over the next incline.

Wind direction was crucial as the hunters closed in on the pending herd. Their vantage point at the crest of this next knoll would potentially put them on target.

Rusty had field glasses in his left hand and reins in his right as he circled the slope to gain a new viewing angle on the bison. The downward drop on the mogul was tough to make out with the snow pelting his straining eyes.

From his distance it appeared as though the herd was bunching tighter. Safety in numbers he assumed.

Raising his arm to begin glassing… SUGAR took an ill advised step forward off the peak of the little knoll, and instantly went into a four legged skid. By the time her brakes were fully engaged, she came to a screeching halt and immediately came unglued!

Normally, most Mustang’s remain calm when something out of the ordinary happens. Nothing about this situation was ordinary… Standing next to a pile of buckbrush she snorted twice, turned sideways, and reared up on her hind legs. Then… She slammed her front hooves to the ground, and went vertical with her hind end… SUGAR was anything but sweet!  She looked more like Skeets Neimiah attacking the high hurdles with her legs constantly kicking up and down.

Rusty felt the distance grow between his ass and the saddle as he went airborne (high-right) heading directly toward the pile of brush. It was in THIS instant, that the GREAT BISON rose from his slumber! There was no conditioning in the world that would prepare him for what was about to happen.

Bison are the largest land mammal in North America, and this beast of a male stood 7 feet tall at the shoulder, and weighed over 2000 pounds on the hoof. His protruding shoulder hump that allowed him to swing his head for foraging, was large enough to move granite boulders.

Also peculiar to note… There was an abnormal amount of dense hair on the flanks and hindquarters of this bull, which was oddly long. In this instance it provided RUSTY something to grasp onto, as he had landed perfectly on the bison’s back (JUDGES SCORED IT A PERFECT TEN), albeit facing the animal’s rear. Hang on COWBOY!

Meanwhile, on the opposite side of the ridge… Sally and Jackie, along with Ron Heimburg, were crouched behind their own clump of bushes… Frozen.

They could sense it coming… The vibration… The thunderous roar of hooves is fast approaching.

–            To Be Continued –  

SEASON 2, EPISODE 7

FALL FISHING. BALLARD'S RESORT. LAKE OF THE WOODS.

Sally saw what she saw. Or at least enough of what she thought she saw. A man and a woman on the fringe of darkness. Him standing with pants down. Her on her knees with outstretched hands.

Her man. Rusty Flathers. Along with what appeared to be that bimbo blonde working the front desk when she checked into the lodge. “What was her name… Ally… Karly… Ellie… What did it matter…” she gasped between sobs of tears and bubbles of snot.

     “This isn’t some novel, like Fifty Shades of Fish. This is my life!” she thought while retreating to her room.

Hitching his pants up… Rusty took a step toward Ellie, and she responded equally. Briefly they embraced with the awkward, butt-extended-out, pat each other on the back, friendly greeting.

     “It’s good to see you, Ellie. What’s it been… Ten years?” he asked… Even though he knew right to the pin it had been ten years – two months – fourteen days since they’d last been together. He’d done the math no less than eighty-three times since collapsing in the lobby at the ranch on his first morning of arrival.

     “It’s been a long time Rusty… And I must ask… How did you find your way to the Gold Rope Ranch?” she questioned.

On the way back to the evening dinner party Rusty explained his Sally Squatsnfishes connection that brought him to Montana, and his pending opportunity with Professor Cosmoid Scale in Northwest Ontario. The two spoke with ease, as if they were back in time, walking the lake trials and simply enjoying each other’s company.

     “Do you want to join us for dinner Ellie?” he asked.

FALL FISHING. BALLARD'S RESORT. LAKE OF THE WOODS.

    “Thanks, but I need to get back to the office and finish up a few things before tomorrow,” she replied. “And Rusty… You should also know that I’m seeing someone right now.”

There was a brief pause… They once again did an uncomfortable (butt-extended-out) hug… And agreed to catch dinner tomorrow night, along with each other’s respective plus one’s.

Being completely famished… Rusty piled into the elk steaks, lobster and mashed potatoes… And all the while Sally was nowhere to be seen.  He assumed she had called it an early evening, with the BIG bison hunt scheduled for morning. And he would be doing the same, soon enough.

Pre-dawn, and all was quiet (momentarily) at the Gold Rope Ranch. Rusty was in the stables with Jackie Loonsuckle, hitching up the horses and getting ready to pack out for the day. The temperature had dropped twenty degrees (Sally’s would be colder) and there was fresh hoar frost on the tree branches.

Jackie suggested the cold front would move the bison lower out of the hills and set them off in a grazing frenzy. Then he explained how he would be guiding the lead horse… Sally would be saddled behind him with bow and arrows in check… And Rusty would bring up the rear acting as an additional set of spotting eyes.

“Fine and dandy to me,” Rusty thought, while standing and hoisting a saddle bag over his ride. And then a hummingbird came from behind, whizzing past his noggin, and slamming itself into a 6 X 6 rough cut of timber that was stacked along the wall of the barn.

He had heard it before he saw it… And now, what he actually saw was an Easton XX75 Camo Hunter Arrow tipped with a Grim Reaper Pro Series 125 grain blade! For maximum effectiveness this combination of arrow and tip was stealthy, offered awesome penetration, and resulted in much bigger cuts.

The flight of the arrow had cruised past his right ear lobe at Mach 1 speed missing (and or intentionally missing) by less than two inches. Rusty was fully aware this style of arrow was Sally’s preferred notch on her big game hunts.

“What the…” he exclaimed, spinning on his heels, facing the direction in which the arrow had arrived. And then he stopped mid-sentence, frozen like a popsicle in a cooler door.

The tears on Sally Squatnfishes face had dried overnight… They had been replaced with the warpaint of a jaded lover. She had a two-finger-wide black streak, painted below her right (dominant) eye, and there was a similar blood-red-slash below her left. The balance of her camo makeup was spilled across her face leaving a ghostly impression of death at the nearest doorstep (Rusty’s doorstep).

Jackie Loonsuckle inched his way along the wall, making his way toward the opening of the barn, using his horse as a protective shield. “I think I’m going to leave you two alone,” he stammered, and then spun sideways sprinting out the door and dropping the reins of his ride.

But neither Rusty nor Sally had heard a word. They were currently occupied playing a game of “who’s going to blink first.” He had nowhere to hide… And she had another arrow notched and pointed in his direction.

     “Sally… What’s going…”

     “Shut it!” she screamed. “I’m the one doing the talking, Rusty. You think I wouldn’t find out about you and that whore!”

     “Sally… I can…”

     “I said shut it!” She commanded and discharged the trigger on the TruFire Edge 4-Finger Release, parting the hair on his head, and burying another arrow into the side of the barn.

     “Ms. Squatnfishes… Please… Wait…” It was Ron Heimberg and Geoff Loonsuckle, co-owners of the Gold Rope Ranch. They stood at the entry of the barn with Ellie Waylayer by their side and begged to clarify the events of the previous evening.

     “We feel there’s an honest explanation for all of this,” they choired as one.

Rusty had been innocently caught with his pants down on one previous occasion (a reassuringly unique story in itself). It involved a brown bear… A salmon feast… And a Bohemian family of eleven residing in a Czech fishing village.

In this situation… He was walking a dangerous line with Sally Squatsnfishes. YES, his pants were down. NO, he hadn’t physically (yet) acted on any immediate feelings.

Admittingly, Rusty was operating full-send within the sketchy bounds of Fifty Shades of Fish.

–            To be continued – 

SEPTEMBER 15 BALLARD’S RESORT FISHING REPORT

SEPTEMBER 15 FALL FISHING REPORT. LAKE OF THE WOODS.
SEPTEMBER 15 FALL FISHING REPORT. LAKE OF THE WOODS.

SEPTEMBER 15

Hey Sportsfans –

It’s been a couple of busy weeks on Lake of the Woods… so let’s catch up. 

Capt. Joey Buckets continues on his westward adventure… pulling crawlers to fill up the cooler.

Fish in the RED TOP and you won’t have far to go… Capt. Brian is finding fish right away in the morning in 12-16’ on the south shore. As the day goes on, you might be better off to bump it out to 25-29’.

Talk to Capt. Mer, and he would tell you to plan extra time to clean fish, not only are you going to catch your limit of walleyes… but you could also end up with a bucket full of perch too. 

The wind has been working in our favor recently… you don’t hear that very often. With a moderate wind, stirring up the perfect “walleye chop”, the jig bite has been productive. Use the classic jig and a frozen shiner, or switch things up and use a half of a crawler, both have resulted with a walleye on the end of the line.

With the predicted temperatures cooling off and the shiners creeping into the river that can only mean one thing… a fiery river bite is about to emerge.

That’s all for this week… SET THE HOOK!