Good Friday… Heck, it’s GREAT FRIDAY!

We are seeing video feeds of anglers, armored in chest-waders, spud poles in hand chiseling away at river ice trying to clear launch pads at boat ramps on the Rainy River.

Quietly in the background… Between lances with the wrecking bars… Guns N’ Roses drones “Just a little patience, yeah”…

Hello sportsfans. River fishing on the Rainy this spring has been a test of patience.

“It’s open… It’s frozen… It’s open… It’s frozen…” You get the idea.

The ten-day forecast for Lake of the Woods looks like a warm-up back to the forties and possibly some low fifties.

“Just a little patience, yeah”. Thanks Guns N’ Roses.

MORE BREAKING NEWS:
– Six weeks… YES, only six weeks until the official Minnesota Walleye Fishing Opener (May 11th)
There are five cabins that remain available for rental that weekend. (bring up your own boat, or hop on a guided charter)
With the late ice out this should bode well for a banger of a start! Lots of fish within a close proximity of the resort. What’s that? All we can catch are trophy size walleye!

– Six weeks… YES, only six weeks until we start the “Race to 2000”. By adding another charter boat and top-gun-sniper (fishing guide) to our summer line up we are going to stretch our fishing adventures in search of the Holy Grail.
There will be more details in the coming weeks as we get closer to dropping the flag on the “Race to 2000”. Stay tuned.

– Six weeks… YES, only six weeks until our Summer Fishing Specials come to life. Quite possibly the newest and most exciting packages we have ever offered in the history of Ballard’s Resort! https://ballardsresort.com/kfan-summer-fishing-special2024/
If you check it out, there is a “HIGH END SPECIAL” that seems to be gaining tons of momentum among our fishing faithful (THANK-YOU!) It’s geared to be super inclusive with no clutch. We did not leave anything out. Just wide open throttle!
That’s it for now. Happy Easter! Gather some eggs and get ready to…

SET THE HOOK!

ps. Here’s the latest with everyone’s best friend Mr. Rusty Flathers: click here

EPISODE 9

Part NINE – continued from last week’s episode –

As he sprinted toward the chopper, she flung open the hatch and reached for his grasp. “C’mon let’s go!” she commanded.

The winds were hurling from the north casting ice pellets of snow in swirling directions around the whirlybird. Bitter cold temperatures made it difficult to breathe while running at an all-out pace.

Rusty lunged like a smallmouth bass trying to inhale a surface popper. With right arm extended his outstretched hand floundered for hers and missed. Instead, he found himself in touch with her right breasticle (size 34D).

As awkward and incapable as he seems at times… Sally still has a connection with Flathers.  And with that she grasped a whopping clod of hair from the top of his curly brown head and hoisted him on board.

Jumping to the command center they buckled in as she took the controls, lifted the aircraft vertically, and pointed its nose to the east. From the rear an explosion propelled them forward as a red ball flashed and then disappeared behind them fading with the setting sun.

On instruction…  Rusty had lit the shack, with the only saved remnants being the chip from his GoPro Camera, that was mounted in the top corner of the fish house.

They needed to get to a haven. Van Clutterbuck was deceased. Sally had a sore boob. Rusty was missing a patch of hair. There was plenty to sort out.

 

–To be continued –

Rights of spring

Sunday March 24 (Fishing Report)

Rights of spring… Fishing… And other random thoughts…

 

Last night, past midnight, a ruffed grouse outside the house was drumming repeatedly. It was 6-degrees Fahrenheit with zero wind. This mating ritual is applaudable, but one (the grouse) must be cautious when presenting for courtship (shrinkage-factor). Timing is everything when it comes to the weather and outdoor activities!

The spring equinox arrived earlier this week and blessed us with as much sunlight as it did darkness. When you live on the Canadian border this recognizable date is celebrated at a higher level than Groundhog Day. More sunlight for the soul tends to brighten the spirits and increase the urge to celebrate SPRING with other types of “spirits”. Cheers to spring!

Fishing, fishing, and more fishing. Can’t say there’s a whole bunch of it happening right now. A few wily veterans are still scratching around drilling holes in the ice. Otherwise, there are many more anxious “river fishermen” waiting for it to warm up so they can wet a line without the little droplets of water freezing their rod tips.

Have you ever fished in a boat when it’s ridiculously cold? The streams of snot freezing to your upper lip. The numbness in your fingertips. You want to take a wiz, but you don’t want to, because it’s going to take eighteen-minutes-and-forty-three-seconds to make it all happen.

Geez… Come to think of it… Has anyone ever accused us FISHERMEN of being sane?!

Before we sign off and let you go:

–            May Fishing Specials (are you signed up and dialed in).

–            Bonus day to cast the islands for musky-bass-pike (ask us about adding a day on the front end or a day on the back end of your existing summer reservation).

–            Walleye Connections (have you seen our full tour schedule for this coming season).

Until next week. Stay warm. Beware of the sexually active drumming grouse. And set the hook!

To visit Rusty Flathers and read his ongoing adventure: click here

—

EPISODE 8

Part EIGHT – continued from last week’s episode –

Full on panic mode ensued. Sally’s helicopter clambered down within spitting distance of the fish house. Lefty Van Clutterbuck, Rusty’s newest and now deceased fishing partner (introduced through Sally), lay slumped in the corner of the ice shack deader than the proverbial mackerel.

Certainly, a media circus would erupt. Not to mention the real potential for criminal charges.

Would this mystery out-flame present tabloid deceptions? Or simply add octane to the blaze…

The January issue of National Fish Rot printed a scandalous line baiting the public and casting Flathers – Squatsnfishes – Van Clutterbuck into a love triangle with Rusty coming out on the short end of the fishing rod. Maybe his father was right… Cats and Stevie Nicks. Ugh.

“Buck up” he told himself. “And stop with the damn negativity.” Deep in his core he believed Sally was faithful, and anything discounting his confidence could not be further from the truth.

Rusty and Lefty (odd first name now that he was missing his left arm) had hit it off marvelously from the get-go. Plus, he and Sally were of the few in Lefty’s inner circle that knew the actual truth.

Someone was out to ruin Sally’s career, and most certainly her association with Flathers. How hard would they push?

–            To be continued –