Season TWO – Episode 2 – “An accident waiting to happen.”
By the time Rusty had come to… Sally was fully dressed and sitting on the corner of the bed. Eight employees (Room Service) had brought in a four-hundred-thirty-eight-pound commercial sized ozone generator, the new and improved SuperMaxBlaster. She had been politely instructed to use the air purifier (sooner the better) to “please take the smell out of this room.”
Sally addressed the situation with Rusty in a monotone voice, “We’ve been asked to check out right away.”
“I understand,” mumbled Rusty, and on the inside, he could sense there was more.
From the first time he and Sally had met, quite an adventure ago, it was beginning to dawn on him that (with or without his best effort) most of his actions were consistently leading to a future mishap. And maybe this was just who Rusty Flathers was, “An accident waiting to happen.”
He could also sense a knot on his forehead the size of a baseball… And after getting to the bathroom mirror, it was confirmed… Along with a sizable shiner (his right eye swollen shut).
“Hey Sal… I’m super sorry about what happened. I mean, not about what happened with you and I last night, but you know, afterwards.”
“It’s OK Rusty… I know it wasn’t your fault. And yes, about last night? It was great, but…”
Before more words were spoken, Sally’s cell phone went off with a “We will rock you” ringtone and both of them knew immediately from the caller ID it was her agent Ben T. Hook.
Sally answered, “Hey Ben… What’s up? Yeah, big day yesterday. (LONG LISTENING PAUSE) Ok… Ok… Well, how much time do I have to think about it? And what, exactly, do they want me to do? Are we still on for Montana? Can you get me 24-hours, before we let them know, like 24-hours after I get back? Ok, sounds good. I’ll get out west next week and fulfill our engagement, then we go from there. Thanks a lot, talk to ya soon.”
Without backtracking… Sally moved forward with instructions. “Ben was confirming my trip to Montana for next week. I’m locked in with the gig at the Gold Rope Ranch near Twin Rivers. Sounds like everything’s a go for the new line of hunting apparel. And I guess they’ve got a dandy bison roaming the property that I might get a chance to chase. They have a bow tag for me if the opportunity presents itself. Otherwise, there’s always trout to be caught. Maybe they’ll include both. I’ll need to make sure there’s a wardrobe for fishing as well.”
Rusty kept his distance from across the room. He didn’t want Sally to see the reddening in his eyes, (at least the one that wasn’t swollen shut) or the tear that was making its way down his left cheek.
“Do you still want me to come to Montana with you?” he stumbled. He was thinking about her “but”, from their conversation prior to the phone call.
“Well… We already had this on the calendar. You should come with,” she replied (with her Sally Squatsnfishes, I’m all business voice).
Now wasn’t the time to crush Rusty. And Sally didn’t know for sure if that is what she wanted. Things between them, at least for her, were at best VERY GRAY. The Montana trip would buy her some time to think, and heart breaking this dude was not something she was ready for.
“OK, thanks” Rusty replied with a bent emotion. “I’ll help you prep everything for the trip, and after that we can…” Rusty’s phone went off.
“Hello… Yeah great, well, for the most part anyway. Where did you end up? Yeah, crazy night for sure. (LONG LISTENING PAUSE) Seriously? Really? That’s awesome! Is this something you want to take on? For sure. It would be a lot. Who me? Um… Gosh I don’t know. I guess I’ve never thought about it. So… Maybe? Can I let you know when Sally and I get back from Montana? Yeah, she’s got a photo shoot with a new line of women’s hunting apparel, and I guess there’s maybe a chance for her to take a bison. Ok, thanks for the call. I’ll get back to you soon.”
Ending the call, Rusty looked toward Sally, “That was Professor Scale.”
“Is he alright?” she queried.
“Yeah, I guess he got a snoot-full last night with cousins Skip and Scoop, but otherwise he’s good. And actually, from what he said, I guess there’s some sort of new deal transpiring between him and the Royal Canadian Navy.”
“What sort of deal are they talking about?”
“Well… You know the thing they had about keeping him in a “witness protection” location? Anyway, since the mangrove killifish has officially been exterminated, and it was the last one known to exist, they are now offering him a remote island location, somewhere in northwest Ontario.”
More questions from Sally… “You mean like, he must move there? They still want to keep him off the grid?”
“No, nothing like that… He’s thinking it’s more of a, hey we really appreciate what you did for us, can we repay you by inking a deeded property in your name, for FREE!” is how Rusty summed it up.
“Wow, that’s interesting… So, he might take them up on it?” she responded.
“Well, it’s free… And not only that, he’s also leaning toward a particular project, something in the form of rejuvenating an old fishing camp. And even more interesting, he’s thinking I might be someone who could run this place for him. You know, with his age and what not, but anyway he wants to have a more extensive conversation.”
“Rusty, that could be awesome for you! (And also buy me an out, if I choose to go that direction.) Are you going to think about it?” she asked.
“It sure sounds like something I might like,” (I’m going to need something if Sally gives me the ol’ heave ho), Rusty offered in return. “YES, I will give it some serious thought during this Montana trip.”
And then there was silence between the two, except for the powerful hum of the SuperMaxBlaster as they exited the room. Prior to their departure Rusty had tripped, not once but TWICE, unplugging the machine while policing the room for any misplaced garments that may have been energetically discarded prior to their love making.
The most challenging feat, that took priority, was retrieving his tighty-whities that hung effortlessly from the overhead ceiling fan. “Hmmm, don’t recall that happening,” he had proudly assessed.
It took TWO goes before he could get his fingertips on the underwear. The first outstretched lunge from the bed, he missed wildly, and ended up on the floor holding his funny bone that connects to the elbow. “Grrrrr, an accident waiting to happen” he thought to himself, before mustering a second attempt.
Down the hallway the two adventurers sauntered. On to Montana they go!
– To Be Continued –