Season Three – Episode 25 – “Crack ‘En Eggs”

Eight days until the official Ontario Walleye Opener and the team at FSFO were no nearer ready for operation than Sally was in her efforts to seize and conquer The Kraken. Someone, or both parties, being on opposite sides of the globe needed a gimmee.

By late afternoon, the word of Stash McGivern’s body removal project from the septic tank had already spread across the islands. Whip Bunkel, Winston McCloud, Patrice Newhaven, Clair Gauthier, Ronnie Roy—the whole damn neighborhood of camp owners had gathered to find out exactly what the skinny was with this skeleton bearing a wristwatch.

With an A-frame construction and a pulley contraption they dropped a cable with a wild game meat hook intact and reversed the hand crank to release metal cable from the spool. Then—once the cable reached the base of the muck—they allowed Stash to start jigging the cable.

At first it was slow and steady. Like teasing a walleye to take bait. Unfortunately, no such luck.

Then he bumped it up a notch when Tawny suggested snap jigging. On paper the idea would get the hook to drop deeper into the muck and the up snap might catch a rib cage. She’d had previous success with a weighted three hook treble on local lake sturgeon. Illegal? Possibly… Frowned upon? Definitely.

Taking heed—down went the hook now in a free fall—then Stash steadied for a jerk of a SNAP! “Hooked up… Yes… I do believe I’ve caught the corpse,” he informed all onlookers. Then with help from Rusty they tightened the cable with the crank and began to lift.

          “Shit… I mean not really… I mean—Who do you think it is?” announced Patrice.

“I’m guessing it’s going to be one of those circus gypsies,” Tawny spoke out. “You all remember when they were roaming these parts… Rumors about money laundering.”

          “Well, we’ll have to run some forensics on the body parts, once we get everything tagged, bagged, and sent to the mainland,” shared Stash. “No sense guessing until then.”

With the skeletal remains carefully maneuvered on the top side, Rusty and Stash swung the boom counterclockwise away from the tank and lowered the remains onto an old boat tarp they’d dug from the boathouse.

Body parts and limbs were quickly searched for clues and for a moment all breaths were held as Tawny removed the shiny watch with the alluring Bohemian band, loosely clinging to the remains of a left wrist bone.

“Hey…. This thing is still ticking!” She impressed the viewing audience, then passed the watch to Professor Scale.

          “She’s right!” he continued, “And the markings tell me this is truly high-end, a Bohemian-inspired luxury watch. If we can confirm it’s a Montblanc Boheme—which is incredibly expensive—it would also indicate a feminine elegance—meaning, it’s a WOMEN.

Then he spit on the backside of the watch head and polished it with his shirt sleeve. “There’s an inscription,” he announced. “Here Tawny, I can’t make out the words.”

The sun from the west dropped below the tree line of the natural harbor on the island as she held up the watch to catch the remaining beams of the day’s light. YES—there was an engraved name. NO—it did not resonate with Rusty, Cos, or any of the locals from Lac Du Bois.

          Tawny began inspection: “Oph…. Oph…. Ophilia.”

          “Clam…. Clamella.”

          “Ophilia Clamella B….”

          “B-something. Looks like Barnacle.”

          “Yep! Ophilia Clamella Barnacle—That’s it!

“The name on the watch strike a bell with anyone?” Stash polled the crowd. “Nope, me neither.”

          “It’s hard to say Stash,” offered Tawny. You know how folks come and go in these parts. For all we know—could have been a camp worker—out here “Crack ‘En Eggs” as a chef to make a living.”

“Or maybe just some unlucky guest who found themselves on the wrong side of a confrontation?” Rusty added.

          “You’re both right—impossible to speculate—we’ll bag everything and get it all sent down to Ottawa for examination. And hey! We got your septic cleaned out Rusty! So, there’s an upside.”

“Thanks for all the concern gang,” Rusty bid farewell to his neighbors. “We really appreciate you stopping over. Eight more days. Good luck with your opening season!”

When the last boat pulled away from the docks, an exhausted Rusty, Tawny and Cos made their way to the lodge. “Yep, eight more wonderful days. Think we’ll be ready?” He asked his partner and hired camp working guru.

          “We’ll be ready Rusty,” Tawny replied and pulled him near with her outstretched hand on his shoulder. “Or I wouldn’t have signed up for this gig.”

Meanwhile…. Downunder…. The Three Eagles continued to wait for intelligence via the Australian Royal Navy. Since they bailed from the Blackfin submarine and Admiral Horace Barnacle, a new game plan had yet to come to fruition.

“Hey, that little fracas inside Dude, Where’s My Board really worked up my appetite,” Sally announced. Why don’t we see if there’s a place where they’re “Crack ‘En Eggs”.

–To Be Continued—